What A Mess
by DuoCorda
Summary: They should not "not" be talking to each other, all because of those damn papers.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Dick Wolf's characters.

" . . . they were overwhelmed by a labyrinth of other emotions . . . " ~ from "I'm Driving Eames."

**What A Mess  
><strong>Chapter 1

After everything that they'd been through, the job, the accident, that first kiss and the several that followed thereafter, they weren't speaking to each other. They hadn't talked in days. They needed their 'space' or so they claimed. The truth is that they were obstinate - an unflattering yet sometimes necessary remnant of youth. She from growing up more than a tad bit spoiled and he from the emotional abuse suffered at the whims of the elder Goren.

On the rare occasion that she was actually wrong about something he was always quick to forgive her. Yet this time she had gone too far and had said some things that bordered on causing 'irreparable damage.' She had hurt him deeply.

It was just about a week ago when he innocently picked up some papers from her dining room table. Those damn papers. He was setting the table for dinner. They were celebrating his offer from Homeland Security. Alex hadn't received any offers yet, but there had been rumors and they had other options to discuss.

"Alex honey where do you want me to put these?"

"What?"

"Where should these go?"

"Give me those."

She nearly fell over running from the kitchen to the dining room to rip those papers from his hands.

"What's wrong? I'm just clearing the table for dinner."

"And reading my mail?"

"I wasn't reading your mail."

She walked over to her desk threw the papers inside a top drawer slammed it shut and locked it tight.

"Hey, hey what's wrong?"

"I don't like you rummaging through my stuff like I'm one of your damn suspects that's what's wrong."

"Rummaging through your stuff? Alex I wasn't..."

"And what else have you been doing while my back was turned?"

"Alex what are you talking about?"

"Oh come on we've done it a thousand times Bobby. Distract the suspect so you can go on your reconnaissance mission."

"That's not true Alex. I would never do that to you."

"You know you don't need to know everything about me anyway."

"You actually think that I've been going through your apartment, looking through your things?"

"Why don't you tell me."

"Alex what's come over you? Is there something that you're not telling me?"

"Look why are you using that tone with me?"

"We're having a conversation that's what adults do Alex they have conversations."

"Oh do they? Like the conversation that we had when you decided to pack up and leave town?"

"We've been through that Alex. I told you before that I didn't want to get in the way of your career. You weren't upset then? What's changed? Look I'm sorry if I . . . "

"Oh the great Detective Goren who doesn't have a care in the world is sorry. Or is it special Agent Goren now that you're with Homeland Security."

"Is that what this is all about, my offer at Homeland Security? Alex we were supposed to talk about that. I haven't accepted."

"We both know it's just a matter of time until you do."

"Alex you know that you're going to get offers but face it you haven't been very diligent in looking."

"How dare you. I wouldn't even be in this mess if it wasn't for . . ."

"If it wasn't for what? If it wasn't for what huh Eames? If it wasn't for what! Me screwing up your career? "

Just before he turned to leave he looked at her, "still having trouble with the truth huh Eames."

"GET OUT!"

The door slam, if not the stunning silence that followed, was enough to shock her back into sanity. She was all alone in her dining room with the aroma of all of his favorite Italian delicacies permeating the kitchen - a gentle reminder of an evening that could have been.

"Oh My God . . . Bobby . . . I didn't mean that."

She didn't. She was troubled and didn't quite know how to ask for his help. For the second time in a little over a year she'd sent him away, this time by her own hand. He had grabbed his coat so abruptly that he had dropped his scarf before he left. She spotted it on the floor and was going to hang it up, until she caught a slight hint of his scent. She drew the scarf to her face to catch the tears. She closed her eyes tightly and inhaled the redolence of rare woods and spices and all that was made of him - his kindness and strength, determination and passion. She held on to it for dear life. He was her life and she hoped by some miracle that she was still his. Although right now she doubted it very seriously. Because she had been a bitch and he was gone.

He barely remembered the taxi ride home or collapsing into bed. His entire body ached from tension and stress and he worried about tomorrow and what new hell it would bring. He could face the alcoholic rants of his father a thousand times over, but just one 'malword' or disappointing look from her was too much.

They had argued before. The one after his undercover stint took months to heal. But this? This was an all out fight, and she had caused it. He couldn't believe what had just happened. A lesser man would have exploded; would have been wild eyed with rage. But his love for her was unconditional. That's why he was in so much pain.

Of all the human offenses, betrayal of the heart has to be the cruelest of them all. It is the other silent killer - attacking without warning. Knowing precisely where to strike. You're left naked, vulnerable, confused and sometimes feeling just plain stupid. He was exhausted and fell into a deep sleep. He didn't wake up again until the 'crack of noon' as he and his brother Frank use to say. He picked up the phone to dial her number out of habit, but then he remembered last night.

"_I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for . . ."_

"How could she have said that to me? Not after . . . I would have never hurt her that way."

It was a difficult decision especially after the rumors, but he picked up the phone and dialed the number. "Hello Jennifer this is Robert Goren. Good thanks. I got your messages and I'd like to take you up on your offer. I'd be honored to join Homeland Security."

He wasn't quite sure if he had accepted the job because he really wanted it or just to spite her. It seemed to have been a sore spot with her last night. They were supposed to talk about it and other things but he screwed up somehow when he picked up those damn papers.

"Good so I'll wait for the package to arrive and I guess I'll see you in about a week."

He got dressed and went to get a newspaper. He also bought a package of cigarettes - somewhat in defiance of her. He had promised that he wouldn't smoke.

"_Doesn't matter now anyway . . . she doesn't have to know everything about me either . . . if that's the way she wants it."_

Anyway, he had a new job to prepare for - Special Agent in charge of some recently manufactured multisyllabic government department - a federal desk jockey. It was not his style at all but the pay was good, the hours were normal and he wouldn't have to worry about being shot at or coming in contact with the dregs of society or witnessing autopsies or staying up all night on stake outs or going undercover or interrogating suspects or . . . all of the things that he loved about being a cop - and being a cop with her.

"_This is what you wanted. Hope your damn papers keep you warm at night."_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Dick Wolf's characters.

"_I can't believe what I said to him" ~ Alex._

**What a Mess**  
>Chapter 2<p>

About a week had passed. Early one morning Alex got up and dressed in her finest business attire. She may have overdone it a bit for where she was going. Never-the-less she needed to feel good about herself and was off for an early start. She stopped at the neighborhood parish for confession.

"_Lord knows I need it."_

But when she walked inside, she was surprised to hear that Father MacAllan had retired after 40 years of service and new father Gellen was taking his place.

"_Oh well one is just as good as the other_."

That was until she saw, what a woman her age would consider, a teenager coming from behind the altar wearing a black cassock, white surplice and a purple stole headed towards the confessional.

"_Father Gellen I presume. What am I going to say to him? Bless me father for I have sinned. You hadn't been born yet when I last confessed?" _

She lit a candle and said her own prayers instead - for her to make it through the day and for him that he finds peace and above all forgiveness. She checked her cell phone but he hadn't called. She didn't expect him to. About an hour later she arrived at her destination.

"We were becoming concerned about you Ms. Eames."

"I really had no other choice, you come highly recommended."

"Then I assume that you've toured other facilities?"

"Yes and I'm very satisfied with what I've seen here. Oh and here I've completed the papers."

"Oh good. Everything seems to be in order. You can keep these, we have copies."

"_Great there are copies. I wonder if Inspector Goren knows that? Of course he does he knows everything. He must have seen something in those papers. He must have. Even if for just a split second. But he didn't say anything. He would have somehow mentioned it but he didn't - I didn't give him a chance to. I didn't want him to. Not then, not at that moment. I was going to tell him, but it was his night and I didn't want to ruin it, but I did anyway."_

"Now there are just a few more formalities that Katie will go over with you . . . "

"_Oh who gives a damn about you or Katie let's just get this over with . . . humh . . . I wonder where he is? If I called him now if he'd answer? If he would even talk to me? It's probably too soon anyway he needs some time and I do too. I can't believe what I said to him. I trust him with my heart. I've trusted him with my life for eight years . . ._ _besides even if he did sneak a peek into my lingerie drawer, it's not as if I hadn't looked through his things before." _"He just caught me off guard."

"I'm sorry what was that Ms. Eames?"

"Uh nothing. You've explained everything just fine."

"You sure you don't have any questions for me?"

"No. No I'd just like to get started as soon as possible."

"Of course. I'll take you out to Katie now."

She looked at her phone on the way but still no calls from him.

"Okay Ms. Eames I'll meet you upstairs in a bit. Katie take care of her."

"Ms. Eames I just need to get you checked in and get you an ID bracelet. I'm sure Dr. Bower explained everything to you. We'll be going up in just a minute. Did you bring someone with you? You can take someone with you y'a know."

She looked at her phone one more time.

"Uh no it's just me."

"No? Can I call someone for you there's still time. You really should have someone here with you."

"No, no I don't want to. I don't want to worry my family and there really isn't anyone else."

"Well ok then, let's go up to the 9th floor and you can get changed and we'll give you a little something to take the edge off. We should be ready to begin the procedure in about an hour."

-P-

Bobby was sitting at his desk in his new office on the 21st floor at Homeland Security. He never had an office before especially one with a great view of the City. There wasn't much for him to do this being his first week. His thoughts were of her - always of her, and he wondered how they got into this mess. They should not "not" be talking to each other. He picked up the phone to call her but was interrupted.

"Robert you look bored. Why don't you come with us to a hospital seminar."

"A what?"

"Come on, we'll explain on the way."

It wasn't his department but it was a chance for him to get out of the office. He was use to fieldwork, not sitting behind a desk. The team was holding a hospital emergency preparedness seminar to train and assist medical professionals in volunteering for disasters.

They arrived about an hour later and were immediately met by the hospital's director of public relations. Bobby completely zoned out as his mind was on Alex, and how much he missed her, and about the giant cedar tree planted in the middle of the lobby. There was something vaguely familiar about it.

"Oh you're wondering about our cedar tree, well cedar trees are symbolic for healing, cleansing and protection. No better place for it than in a hospital huh?"

He smiled politely.

"_Thanks I already know that. Alex would have known that I knew that . . . she probably wouldn't have liked you either. She's not crazy about PR types . . . Alex ." _

He pulled out his cell phone and tried to call her again.

-P-

"Ms. Eames, everything is fine, we got it all. You just rest and we'll think about letting you go home tomorrow okay?"

She was groggy and disoriented from the effects of the anesthesia and medications.

" Your PCA, uh your medication pump is right here by your hand. You use it now if you have any pain at all alright? "

"Bobby."

"It's Dr. Bower Ms. Eames. Do you want us to call someone for you? . . . Ms Eames?"

But Alex had already drifted back into a light sleep. A single tear trickled down her face and onto her pillow . . . because he wasn't there . . . to hover, to stroke the back of her hand, to lull her into the comfort of love's healing touch. The loneliness was unbearable. It may have been minutes or even hours later that she slowly regained consciousness to the sounds of her heart monitor, the air compression boots on her legs to prevent blood clots, and a chair being dragged across the floor. She smelled hospital disinfectant, the hand sanitizer near her bed, body odor and cigarettes?

"What the hell?"

She opened her eyes only to witness her worst fears. There was a man in her room and it wasn't her doctor. Lowlife Jay Finori had just eluded capture by Gwen Adams and Jerry Milden, two 12th precinct detectives on loan to MCS. Needless to say they wouldn't be back after that debacle. They got a tip that Finori was headed to the hospital to finish off a snitch who had double crossed him in a drug heist, but they arrived too late. When he saw them he ducked into a nearby stairwell, ran up 3 flights and ended up in Alex's room.

" Who are you? Get the hell out of my room."

Alex was still slightly groggy but felt a sudden surge of adrenalin at the sight of that mutt standing at the foot of her bed. She may have been startled, but she was far from afraid - she was on medication.

"Nurse! Nurse!"

"Shut your mouth."

"Fuck you! Get the hell out of my room. Nurse!"

"Look don't make me use this. Now shut up!"

"You shut up tough guy. Going to shoot a patient are you? Nurse!"

"Will you just shut up, shut up. I'm trying to think."

"Hah, an oxymoron from a moron."

When the nurses finally arrived they couldn't get in because Finori had locked the door and bolted it with the chair.

Banging on the door

"What's going on in there? Open this door. Ms Eames are you alright? Whose in there?"

"Get away from the door. I've got a gun here."

"You what? Betty quick call security."

"You heard me, get back or I'll use it on her!"

"No see you need me alive to get out of here dumbass. Get the hell out of my damn room."

"Lady if you don't . . ."

"Please please don't hurt her. Can you just let me in to check on her she's, she's just come out of surgery. Look what is it that you want?"

"Yea tell them what you want Einstein. You want to escape don't you? Good luck you're on the 12th floor."

Alex's room was actually on the 9th floor.

"And I suppose you want a car and some money too huh? Typical."

"Lady I swear . . . Hey you out there, get someone up here who can deal right now."

"Okay, okay just don't hurt her. Are you alright Ms. Eames? Ms. Eames?"

"Fine. There is a moron in my room with a gun.

_**TBC**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Dick Wolf's characters.

**A/N:** a PCA is a patient controlled analgesia,  
>an intravenous medication delivery system that<br>allows the patient to push a hand held button  
>and self administer a preset amount of pain<br>medication as needed.

_See you all Sunday Night!_

"_You hold on do you hear me Alex . . ." ~ Bobby._

**What a Mess**

Finale

There was a commotion in the lobby. Excessive radio chatter from the security desk brought hospital guards in from all directions.

"Folks we have a situation. We need everyone to remain calm and exit the building through the side entrance as quickly and as orderly as possible. Please everyone leave the building now! We need the lobby clear!"

Grumbling and complaining the crowd headed towards the side entrance. The 8th, 9th and 10th floors were also being evacuated. Patients in wheel chairs, some in beds with IV poles, were being escorted to the emergency room for safety.

"This isn't a drill. Looks like we've got the real deal here Goren. Hey guard what's going on?"

Suddenly ESU and a dozen or so plain clothes police officers rushed in through the main entrance. Bobby immediately recognized Jefferies from Major Case.

"Jefferies hey Jefferies!"

"Goren."

"What's going on?"

"Hostage crises 9th floor."

"What!"

" Some lunatic's got a patient hold up in a room. The captain is setting up a command post at the nurses' station."

"Callas?"

"No Hannah."

"Hannah? Joe Hannah?"

"Yea, he's the new captain."

"So the rumors were true. I'm going with you."

Bobby left the Homeland Security team and ran to the elevators with Jefferies.

"Robert where are you going? Hey Goren!"

There was no way that he was going to work crowd control with a hostage situation unfolding upstairs.

-P-

The effects of the medication were starting to wear off and Alex was in distress. Finori was a junkie and a coward and had taken her PCA and tried to inject himself with her pain medication. The dosage wasn't strong enough for him and he was becoming agitated.

"Don't you know you're not suppose to share needles."

"Shut up!"

She didn't have the strength to argue with him anymore. She was in pain and she was in danger - trapped with an armed junkie in need of a fix. She prayed for help to come soon. ESU was flanked along the walls just outside of her room. Captain Hannah had previously given them specific instructions not to fire.

"We're taking this S.O.B. alive. No shots are to be fired do you hear me? Not one! There's oxygen all over the place and we don't need an explosion up here."

"Hannah, Captain Hannah its Robert Goren."

"Goren, what are you doing here?"

"Long story. You've got a hostage situation?"

"Yea we've got this. I heard you were a fed now?"

"Come on Hannah."

"Alright look its Jay Finori. He's holding a female patient in her room. The nurses say he's armed and probably high on something."

" Finori? That punk?"

"You know him?"

"Just enough to know the DA could never make a case against him."

"Well apparently they have now. We had him until these two geniuses let him slip by."

"Look captain we . . . "

"Save it Adams."

"How's the hostage? Anybody try to make contact yet?"

"It's been a little quiet in there. Trevor is pulling up the patient list now."

"I've got it captain . . . 913, 914, here - Eames, Alexandra."

They were stunned. The silence was deafening.

And then he remembered - the papers. He had glanced at them but for only a split second. Just long enough to see that one of them had a tree in the letterhead . . . a tree pretty much like that cedar tree that he had been staring at all morning in the hospital lobby. And then there was that other paper . . . the one with the pink ribbon.

"_. . . give me those, you don't have to know everything about me, without a care in the world, I wouldn't be in this mess if it wasn't for . . . "_

"Oh God no. Don't do this to me, don't do this to me. Get him, get him on the phone right now, right now!"

" Not your case Goren."

" The hell it is. That's my partner in there. Hannah you've got to let me work this - you've got to let me get her out of there."

"You're not Major Case anymore Goren."

" Damn it Hannah come on now!"

"Dial the number Trevor. Goren you calm down now! Don't you say anything to rile that son of a bitch."

The phone rang several times. Alex was running a fever and trying to remain alert.

"Not a word from you y'a hear?"

He grabbed the phone from the nightstand.

"Yeah."

"Hello Finori this is Robert Goren. I want to help you work this out. Is everything ok in there?"

"Maybe."

Bobby did everything in his power not to lose his temper.

"Look I want to resolve this thing with you as peaceful as possible. I want to help you but you've got to do something for me first. You've got to let me speak to Ms. Eames to make sure she's alright. If she's hurt then I can't help you. Can you put her on the phone?"

"You can deal?"

"Like I said, I can help you if you help me. Now let me speak to Ms. Eames."

"Here they want to talk to you and not one wrong word."

Alex was determined not to give Finori the satisfaction of knowing how badly she felt.

"Hello."

"It's me Alex, are you ok. He didn't hurt you did he? Alex . . . Alex!"

"Bobby . . . no. I'm fine."

"I'm going to get you out of there. You hold on do you hear me Alex, you hold on."

She could only nod.

"Alex!"

He knew that she was in trouble and that he had to act quickly.

"Alright you talked to her now get me a car. I'm walking out of here with her and you're not going to touch me you hear? Or I swear that I'll . . . "

"Can't let you do that Finori she's a patient. "You've got to let her go. Look I'll trade you. I'll come in and you let her go."

"You think I'm stupid?"

"No Finori I do not think you're stupid. I think you're a very smart man and you know that it's not going to be easy getting a sick woman out of a hospital don't you. I'm a fed. My people will deal. But you've got to let her go. I'm coming down there so we can talk ok? Thirty seconds you and me, man to man alright Finori? There are too many cops listening here. We gotta deal?"

"We'll see."

"Look man I'm being straight with you. We gotta deal?"

"Yeah, yeah deal. But no tricks."

"Take a vest Goren and this; use it only if you have too."

"I'm going in unarmed, it's too risky."

Finori dropped the phone in Alex's bed. She cringed as the phone nearly hit her wound. She was trembling and worried that she might go into shock. She had to stay warm . . . plus she had a plan.

"Hey you alright? You don't look so good, snap out of it. You're my ticket outta here. Hey!"

"_You have got to be the dumbest person on this earth." _"Can you please give me a blanket. I'm cold. Please, I'll tell them that you helped me. I just need to warm up a bit then I'll leave with you okay, okay please?"

"Yeah, yeah here. That better?"

"_Yeah, yeah idiot." _

"Finori it's me Goren. I'm just outside of the door I'm coming in."

"NO!"

"We had a deal now Finori."

"I-I changed my mind."

"Finori is Ms. Eames is alright? Ms. Eames?

Alex was trying to remain alert but she was fading fast. Finori had dropped the phone in her bed within her reach. With the blanket now covering her, it was easy for her to disconnect the phone, without him noticing, and use it as a weapon when the time came. She felt Bobby's presence outside of her door. She knew that he would do everything in his power to get her out of there.

"Hey Lady say something, say something."

A sudden sharp pain nearly took her breath away.

"She said she's fine."

"I need to hear it from her Finori."

"Look send in a nurse I'll take one of them instead of you."

"Bobby knew that he was out of time. He motioned for ESU to get into position and for one of the female officers to answer Finori.

"Mr. Finori I'm here, it's the nurse. Can I come in and check on Ms. Eames? Ms. Eames can you answer?"

"Wait a minute. Hey lady tell them you're ok. Hey you dead or something?"

Alex was motionless but she felt Finori inching up to the head of her bed. She could smell his foul, sour odor getting closer.

"Don't you die on me. Wake up. I gotta, I gotta nurse for you. Hey, hey, hey!"

The bastard shook her causing her to cry out - and Bobby heard her.

**"HIT IT!"**

ESU broke the door down with a battering ram and rushed in. It took every ounce of her strength but Alex was able to strike Finori across the face with the telephone knocking him off balance. He dropped his gun but dared not pick it up. He was instantly surrounded by as many ESU officers, that could possibly fit into one hospital room, with semis drawn and trained on him.

"Get down on the ground, get down now!"

"If he even breathes, shoot him."

Jefferies cuffed Finori and dragged him out. A couple of ribs just accidently connected with Bobby's elbow. He was frantically trying to make his way through the chaos to get to Alex.

"Eames . . . Eames can you hear me? Somebody get a doctor !"

"I've got the gun here!"

"Get a doctor now! Eames!"

She was barely conscious. Her blood pressure had dropped dangerously low and she had torn a suture when she struck Finori . . . but she was going to be ok.

-P-

A few hours later Alex was awakened by a familiar scent hovering about her, the gentle stroking on the back of her hand, and the comfort of love's healing kiss upon her forehead. He was there.

"Bobby."

"Shhh. Rest Alex."

"Finori?"

"In custody with a big gash on his head. He's not going anywhere."

"Hope it hurts like hell..."

She opened her eyes.

"You know?"

He nodded.

"While you were sleeping I went rummaging through your bag and found some papers."

She smiled.

"You know I didn't mean any of it . . . I didn't know how to tell you and I . . . didn't want it to be true and I took it out on you."

"It's ok. You're going to be fine. We're going to be fine. Rest now. I hear you're going home tomorrow. . . and uh we still have some things to talk about. Seems there are some vacancies at Major Case. Captain Hannah wants to talk to us about it."

"I knew they couldn't do without us."

"I can't do without you."

FINI


End file.
